The Change
by myfirstloveseg
Summary: Az receives an email telling him that his gay cousin just committed suicide how dose this affect him and the relationship between him and Kurt? Az and Kurt friendship. up for adoption just pm me if you want it so i can read it
1. the email

**The Email**

Azimio looks at his Aunt's e-mail again, but he cant really find words to describe how he was feeling.

He always knew it must have been hard for his cousin to be openly gay but he never thought it would be so hard he would kill himself.

Az and his cousin were never that close, but that doesn't mean he didn't care about him and the death of a family member even a gay one. Not that he has a problem with gay's it's just a reputation thing is always hard to handle, especially when his cousin is no, was, no older then he is.

The reason why he killed himself sickens Az to the core. His cousin couldn't handle the bulling, he couldn't handle the locker shoves , slushy-facials , dumpster dives or the insults. It makes him sick because he knows he is a bully like the ones that drove his cousin to kill himself.

He can't help but think, what if he had bullied someone to death. He mentally scolds himself, reminding himself that he doesn't care about the losers in his school and goes to bed.

After all a bully can't care without destroying his reputation.

HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIH

The next day at school was relativity normal he hung out with Dave and pushed a few nerds into lockers when they got in his way.

At the end of the day he heard a few jocks talking and laughing while he was on his way to his car.

"Who does that Hummel boy think he is?" says one jock.

He thinks he recognizes his voice as Tim from the hockey team.

"Coming right in to our locker room"

He hears a voice who he recognizes as Nick, the kicker for the football team.

"Yea he deserved every thing we gave him, it's a lesson he'll never forget."said the first one again.

"yea" came the reply from like 5 other people

"I bet he's still laying on the floor like a baby." Said someone who's voice he didn't recognize. They all started to laugh.

Azimio didn't know why he was going to the locker room but he went anyway, and when he got there he was not prepared for what he saw.

Kurt was laying on the floor with his feet under him in a pool of blood, holding his stomach, curling around himself. Desperately trying to catch his breath while coughing up blood.

When Kurt looked up and saw Az, he looked so scared, he doesn't think he had ever seen him that scared.

He curled even further around himself and started to shake. Still desperately trying to breathe, he stopped spiting blood.

Az wasn't sure what to do but in his mind he couldn't forget that e-mail and he just keep imagining his cousin instead of Kurt and then all he could think is nobody deserves that.

He approached Kurt and sat down in front of him carefully to avoid the blood.

He looks up at him again, all he could see in his eyes was fear and pain. Kurt tried to back up but he was already backed up against the lockers.

"Please" he says "Please no more please." He looks so small and afraid Az dosn't think he's ever seen him this way.

Even when Az had him backed up against the dumpsters, Kurt would just glare at him.

Az couldn't imagine what they had done to kurt to make him act this way but he wasn't sure he wanted to know ether.

"shhh it's ok I'm not going to hurt you" Az said with a kindness in his voice he bearly remembered was there."come on can you stand"

Kurt looked at him as if to say, what are you really doing here? He tried to stand up on shaky legs only to clench his stomach even tighter and fell back to his knees.

He looked back at Az and said. "No it hurts too much."

Az picked him up bridal style just because it was the easiest way and put him on a bench near a sink.

Az wet one of the gym towels and started to clean Kurt up and for the first time Az realized Kurt is covered in cuts and bruises. Az finished cleaning Kurt's face and started to clean the towel.

"wh-why are you helping me, I thought you would be one of the people that would love to see me like that?" Kurt asks really unsure of himself.

Az came back with the clean towel and sat on the bench in front of him

"Kurt look, ok yes, I'm a bully, yes, I beat people up" Az looked him right in the eye.

"but, I'm not cruel ok, I would never leave someone like that, ok, nobody deserves that, ok "

"Not even the school fag" Kurt tried to joke when he didn't get a response he tried something else.

"Why are you helping me. I mean, I know you said you are not cruel but that could just mean not kicking me when I'm down. Why are you helping me?"

A little frustrated, Az said "what do you what from me Hummel? Do you want me to be like them, just beat you up and leave you in a pool of your own blood?"

Kurt was huddled up against the locker, because half way through Az started yelling. He looked so scared, so Az forced himself to calm down.

Az was answered with a meek. "no."

"Then what do you want?" Az asked in a softer tone.

Kurt relaxes a Little and answers " I want to know why? I want to know why your spending your time with a fag like me and not beating me up? I want to know that this isn't some kind of cruel joke? I want to know there's not something worse waiting for me outside? I want to know why your here and why your being nice to me?"

"Look Hummel, I don't have a problem with gays, I never did" he looked at Az shocked.

"There's nothing waiting for you outside, not a barrage of pee filled balloons nor a mob ok." he gives a little nod.

"This is no joke, I'm here because I heard them talking about how they beat you up, so I came to check on you, ok."

Kurt still looked like he wanted more answers, but he didn't ask, so Az finished cleaning him up, he looked better.

"There, you should stay away from them from now on" Kurt gives a little nod and stands up only to fall back down.

"Are you ok, whats wrong?"

"My ribs hurts, I think it may be broken." he says still clutching his stomach.

"Alright lay down and let me take a look." In that moment he looked ready to shit himself

"If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have done it by now?"

He just looked at Az while studing his face then he lays down on the bench.

Az kneels in front of him and lifts up his shirt so he can see all of his ribs. he slowly puts pressure on the rib Kurt said was hurting him and figured out it's only a sprain.

Az rapped his ribs and made sure he could stand and walk without too much trouble before Az was about to leave.

"Amizio." he turned to see Kurt sanding behind him looking a hell of a lot better then he did before.

"Thank you"

"Your welcome Kurt." giving him the slightest smile, then he left. Az didn't know if this would change anything he did to him at school.

He didn't really know why he did it, he just knew it was the right thing to do. He went home, and hoped that Kurt got to his house ok.

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	2. thoughts part 1

The Change Chapter 2

**An: A little short but I hope you like it.**

Az didn't know what the hell was wrong with him. Why did he help the Hummel boy, what if word got out? It could, would, destroy his rep. But what the fuck was he supposed to do? Just leave him there, well yea, that's what bullies do, if they give you more bruises, and make fun of you for not being man enough to stand and fight But is that really what he wants anymore, does he really want to be a bully?

"Ugh", he says, he jumps on his bed and turns his radio up all the way just to drown out his thoughts.

It worked for a few hours, till his mom came home and started yelling.

"Baby I'm home, turn that damn thing off and come down for dinner."

He rolled out of bed to have dinner with his Mom. It hasn't been the same since his dad left, he just up and left, no reason.

She stopped cooking and baking, they just ate fast food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He had no problem with that. Tonight their dinner was from In and Out.

His Mom threw herself in to her work more than he thinks is healthy, and they never talk about his Dad,. It was as if he was never there.

He sat at the table like the perfect son. They talked through diner, then Az did the dishes, and his homework. He checked his e-mail and what he saw there, surprised him, it was another e-mail from his cousin's e-mail address.

We went through Christian's will and he wanted you to have his video diary the link is below.

He was shocked that his cousin wanted him to have anything, let alone something as private as his diary, but he clicked on the link. A site came up with over 350 videos. Most titled with dates and times. But number 1 was titled, Dear Amizio, so he clicked on that one.

It opened a window were he could see his cousin, he pushed play.

"Hey Amizio", Christian's voice came trough the speakers. "I just thought you would like to see the effects your bulling has on people, every one is different of course, but you should watch these, I'm sure some things apply to the kids you bully at school."

He clicked on the first one, it told of the first day at school as an outed gay.

He watched till the wee hours of the morning, he watched how it started out small, with insults, or name calling.

How it escalated fast to locker shoves , slushy-facials and dumpster dives.

He watched the bruises appear on his cousin's skin, form the locker shoves.

He listened to how many outfits got ruined between the slushy-facials and dumpster dives. How every day his confidence would fall even lower and how badly it hurt to be hated just for being you.

He listened to his cousin tell about his nightmares, and how even when there were no bullies near him, he still couldn't shake the fear.

He got a better understanding about why his cousin killed himself.

By time Az crawled into bed it was 4:30 in the morning, and he had so much on his mind he couldn't fall a sleep till 7:00a.m. He was so thankful it was Saturday, so he could sleep till, whenever the hell he wanted too.

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	3. thoughts part 2

The Change Chapter 3

What the hell just happened? First, I'm going to the locker room to get my forgetful brother his bag. Then I'm getting a beat down from five guys because they thought I was there to spy on their junk.

Then Amizio of all people, Amizio the best friend and side kick of my main tormentor Dave Karofsky, is helping me. What the fuck?

This has to be some kind of sick joke, I don't know how, maybe I'm right, and something is waiting for me outside. Well I have to leave here sooner or later.

This is what Kurt was thinking as he paced up and down the locker room, after Az left.

He grabbed Finn's bag and slowly made his way outside. On the look out for anything out of place. Nothing appeared to be out of place and by time he got to his car he felt safer but he didn't feel totally safe, till he got home.

"Hey I'm home" but there was no response, duu he though, Fin is at Rachel's house and his parents are probably not done with work yet.

Which he is perfectly OK with. I mean his Dad doesn't need another heart attack and that's exactly what would happen if he saw Kurt in his blood stained cloths.

And he really doesn't need Finn going on and on about how sorry he is and how it's all his fault because he made Kurt go get his bag.

And Carole would totally freak out. He's not close enough to her to call her Mom, No one could ever take his Mom's place in his heart. he's glad Carole understands that.

He quickly goes down to his room to take a shower. He still had blood in his hair. The hot water felt so good agents his skin, even in if his lavender body scrub sung his cuts. When he got out he got dressed in a fashionable t-shirt and jeans.

Then went up to the kitchen to find Carole making dinner, chicken casserole with a side salad.

"Hey Kurt, why don't you set the table, the food will be done in about fifteen minuets", so he started setting the table.

"So how was your day Kurt?"

"Um, good, I guess, it is still school but glee was fun." He looks around.

"Hey where is Dad and Finn."

"Oh Fin is eating dinner at Rachel's and your Dad should be home any minuet now."

Then his Dad walked into the kitchen, "well speak of the devil." Carole said looking at Burt with love in her eyes.

"You were talking about me? You know it's not nice to gossip" Burt said with a fake disapproving tone.

She just shrugged and turned her back to him. He grabbed her arm turned, her around and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Carole gigged like a school girl.

Kurt hasn't seen his Dad that happy, since his Mom was alive. The three of them ate dinner in comfortable silence. Burt and Carole did the dishes, giggling like school children all the while.

Kurt went to his room and changed in to his silk pajamas and did his nightly skin routine, while listening to Lady Gaga.

Then he just laid in bed thinking about Amizio and what happened at school and what he should do about it on school on Monday. After thinking about it for hours he finally decided, not to say anything, just act like it never happened, but be on the look out for anything out of place.

He fell asleep excited, because tomorrow he was having a girl's day, night?Thingy with Tina and Mercedes .It would start out with a day at the mall, then to Mercedes;s house for movies and a slumber party. Tomorrow's going to be fun. Was his last thought befor he fell asleep.

**Ideas are welcome for what you think should happen next or along the way.**

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	4. watched

The Change Chapter 4

Az tried, he really did, but he just couldn't get his cousin's video diary out of his head, or the thing that happened with Kurt. He decided that if Kurt doesn't try to make friends with him, he can get away with a day without bulling the fag of the school.

When he got to school, he saw his fellow jocks about to through Kurt into the dumpster. Now, usually he would run to meet them, but today he watched from his car.

He watched the scene play out, he watched how the jocks taunt him and how he fights back with his harsh words. He watched how he stood with his head held high. He watched how he didn't beg, how he didn't fight, he just took it like a man.

That used to annoy the crap out of him but now he just thinks, wow he's strong. Come to think of it, if he was in Kurt's place, he didn't think he would be able to walk around like he owns the place.

He watched Kurt climb out of the dumpster, brush his cloths and walk away with his head held high. Amazing, he thought as he followed after Kurt.

He watched Kurt silently all day, waiting for him to show a hint of fear but nothing. When he got slammed in to the lockers he didn't even show that it hurt, but he knew it did. He knew he probably had bruises all over his body.

When he got a slushy-facial, he just wiped it out of his eyes and walked to the bathroom muttering under his breath something about them all being idiots, no sign that it hurt, but he knew it did from what his cousin said, it burned like crazy.

Even after all that he could still at least look like he was having the time of his life, hanging out with his friends at lunch.

Az sat with his fellow jocks like always, none of them noticed anything off with him, no one asked where he was all day, no one asked him if he was OK. That's because no one cared, on one at this table is a true friend to him. With the exception of maybe Dave. They've known each other since they were three.

That day Az stayed at school late to spy on the glee club. He wached every one but payed close attention to Kurt. He saw how happy he is on stage, and he realized how good the glee club really is. their not losers their fantastic singers.

He needs to talk to Kurt, he needs to apologize. And not just to him but to the whole glee club, but mostly Kurt.

He waited out the rest of glee club, and hid when everyone left, except Kurt he was talking to Mister Shoe. When Kurt left, Az stopped him in the parking lot.

"Hey, Kurt." Kurt looked around like he expected something to attack him.

"Umm, hay" Az looked a bit nervous , which made Kurt wonder what the hell was going on.

"Will you come over to my house later?" Now they both looked nervous.

"Why?" he looked wary, like he was tired of playing games.

"Because, I have something to show you, something to say to you that I can't say at school."

He looked around like he was afraid someone would hear.

" And I want your help with something"

"Is this some kind of joke?", he looked Az right in the eyes.

"No it's not, I swear." Kurt gives a little nod.

"OK, give me your address, I'll be over at 5:00."

**Reviews are love and love makes the chapters come faster.**

**Ideas are welcome.**


	5. talk

**The Change Chapter 5**

**I'm so bad I totally forgot to do disclaimers but I put one in the summery so that's something.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but a girl can wish.**

As Kurt sits on his bed, looking at AZ's surprisingly neat hand writing, he's just thinking what have I gotten my self into this could be bad the hole football team could be there and the things that they could do to me without the fear of teachers or other students watching. He shuttered maybe he shouldn't go but on the other hand it could be nothing like that. Kurt couldn't even imagine what Az wanted to show him or say to him and what the fuck could Az want his help with?

If he's going to leave he beater leave in the next five minutes.

"Oh fine ill go" It's not like he doesn't deserve a chance. he did patch Kurt up after the locker room incontinent.

As he got to Az's house he quickly knocked on the door before he had to much time to think. It only took Az a few seconds to answer the door.

"Hey thanks for coming." he said seeping aside to let Kurt in. He went in but was not about to let his gard down.

"lets go up to my room" he looked nervous but fallowed anyway once they were in Az's room Kurt asked.

" so why am I here? what did you what to tell me?"

he sits on his bed and looks Kurt in the eyes "I'm sorry Kurt I'm sorry for all the things I did to you and your friends" He broke eye contact and huger his knees to his chest.

"I'm sorry for all the slushy-facials, I'm sorry for all the locker shoves, and the dumpster dives." by the end Az looked ready to cry Kurt sat next to him on the bed and starts to rub his back. "Shhh don't cry." after a wile Az calms down. "Sooo do you forgive me? Kurt gives a little nod. "thank you"

"so why the sudden change of hart? why the apologize now after all these years?"

"Uha good question that's what I wanted to show you." he goes to his computer and moved the mouse and on the screen is the fist video paused so you can see his cousin. he turned to face Kurt.

"This is my cousin." Az said pointing to the screen.

"yea so." Kurt said shrugging

"So he committed suicide a few day's ago." he said looking back at the screen.

"why?" he said as he moves to the edge of the bed so he could see the computer better.

"Because he was an outed gay and couldn't handle the bullying." Az said looking down at his hands that were crossed in his lap.

"Ohh this all makes more seance now." Kurt said mater of factually.

"yea well over the week end I got this." he said pointing to his computer screen. "It's my cousin's video diary." he pushed play

"Hey Amizio", Christian's voice came trough the speakers. "I just thought you would like to see the effects your bulling has on people, every one is different of course, but you should watch these, I'm sure some things apply to the kids you bully at school."

"I'm not going to make you watch all these. but basically it's a day in the life of an outed gay. Kurt I'm so sorry I didn't think it would be that hard that people would kill themselves, actually I just didn't think. I'm so so sorry Kurt for everything."he said on the verge of tears again.

"Shhh it's ok I forgive you."

"How can you forgive me that easily after everything I've done to you? he said looking so miserable.

"It's not that bad I have my friends to help me trough it and a song that helps me to."

"A song yea the glee club wrote it, it's called loser like me. Would you like to hear it?"

"yea." after a quick search on you tube he opened a window that said loser like me with lyrics.

**(a/n) Now you should pull up you tube and listen to this song now.**

Yeah, you may think that I'm a zero

But, hey, everyone you wanna be

Probably started off like me

You may say that I'm a freak-show (I don't care)

But, hey, give me just a little time

I bet you're gonna change your mind

Kurt raised his eye brows at Az, and Az just shrugged.

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way

It ain't so hard to take, that's right

'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name

And I'll just look away, that's right

now Kurt was singing along.

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the words you got and knock me down

Baby, I don't care

Keep it up, and soon enough' your figure out

You wanna be

You wanna be

A loser like me

A loser like me

Push me up against the locker

And hey, all I do is shake it off

I'll get you back when I'm your boss

I'm not thinkin' 'bout you haters

'Cause hey, I could be a superstar

I'll see you when you wash my car

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way

It ain't so hard to take, that's right

'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name

And I'll just look away, that's right

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the words you got and knock me down

Baby, I don't care

Keep it up, and soon enough' your figure out

You wanna be

You wanna be

A loser like me

A loser like me

A loser like me

Hey, you, over there

Keep the L up-up in the air

Hey, you, over there

Keep the L up, 'cause I don't care

You can throw your sticks, and you can throw your stones

Like a rocket, just watch me go

Yeah, l-o-s-e-r

I can only be who I are

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the words you got and knock me down

Baby, I don't care

Keep it up, and soon enough' your figure out

You wanna be

You wanna be

A loser like me

A loser like me

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the words you got and knock me down

Baby, I don't care

Keep it up, and soon enough' your figure out

You wanna be

You wanna be

A loser like me (A loser like me)

A loser like me (A loser like me)

A loser like me

"So what do you think?"

"It's a good song. The glee club wrote it?" Kurt just nods.

"you know I was spying on your glee club today and you guys are really good."

"you what." Kurt said sounding shocked Az looked down ashamed.

" I spied on glee club today you guys are really good."

"Umm thanks, so what do you need my help with?" Kurt said looking around.

"right I was just, could you help me with umm ummm..." he said nervously looking around.

"just spit in out."

"Will you help me apologize to the rest of the glee club?"

"uh sure, no problem, just come to glee tomorrow and speak from your heart like you did with me and I will be there to help you through."

"really thanks, you know your a really amazing person. can can I tell you something that no one knows about me."

"sher if you want to but you don't have to if it's a secret."

"no it's not a secret just something no one knows about me. and someone should someone that won't make fun of me for it." he looks at Kurt hopefully and Kurt gave him a reassuring smile "You can tell me. no judgment here and I won't make fun of you." Az gave Kurt a very friendly smile. "I love to sing." he looked like there was just a lode taken of his shoulders.

"really? sing something." he said looking excited.

"no I don't think that's a good idea." he said looking like he wanted to sing but not in front of any one.

"come on your secret's safe with me." Az still looked on the fence.

"please just one song please." Kurt said with his best puppy dog face.

"ok fine one song and you don't tell any one about this after ok." he said with a very serious look on his face.

"ok ok just sing." Az pulls up a window that has just the music for forget you by cee lo.

I see you driving 'round town

With the girl i love and i'm like,

Forget you!

Oo, oo, ooo

I guess the change in my pocket

Wasn't enough i'm like,

Forget you!

And forget her too!

I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya

Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)

And although there's pain in my chest

I still wish you the best with a...

Forget you!

Oo, oo, ooo

wow he is good he could give fin a run for his money.

Yeah i'm sorry, i can't afford a ferrari,

But that don't mean i can't get you there.

I guess he's an xbox and i'm more atari,

But the way you play your game ain't fair.

he sings with so much passion you can feel it and it's an amazing feeling.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you

(oh shit she's a gold digger)

Well

(just thought you should know nigga)

Ooooooh

I've got some news for you

Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

I see you driving 'round town

With the girl i love and i'm like,

Forget you!

Oo, oo, ooo

I guess the change in my pocket

Wasn't enough i'm like,

Forget you!

And forget her too!

I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya

Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)

And although there's pain in my chest

I still wish you the best with a...

Forget you!

Oo, oo, ooo

he's just so into the song it's amazing to watch.

Now i know, that i had to borrow,

Beg and steal and lie and cheat.

Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.

'Cause being in love with you ass ain't cheap.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you

(oh shit she's a gold digger)

Well

(just thought you should know nigga)

I've got some news for you

i really hate yo ass right now

I see you driving 'round town

With the girl i love and i'm like,

Forget you!

Oo, oo, ooo

I guess the change in my pocket

Wasn't enough i'm like,

Forget you!

And forget her too!

I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya

Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)

And although there's pain in my chest

I still wish you the best with a...

Forget you!

Oo, oo, ooo

Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?

(so bad, so bad, so bad)

I tried to tell my mamma but she told me

"this is one for your dad"

(your dad, your dad, your dad)

Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!

Whhhy lady? Oh! I love you oh!

I still love you. Oooh!

by the end of the song he was on the verge of tears and it made Kurt want to cry to.

"you are freakin amazing you should join glee"

"no way"

"why not scared"

"no" he said looking around nervously

"yes you are your totally scared."

"fine I'm scared."

"well don't be the shit out of anyone stupid enough to give you a slushy-facial."

"fine if they accept my apology I'll try out for glee. ok"

sounds fair to me." Kurt looks at his watch. "Ohh I have to go I promised my mom I'd be home by 7:00 but tomorrow at glee ok."

"ok see you there" Az walked Kurt to the door.

"bey Amizio."

"bey Kurt."

**To all my reviewers I love you all thank you for you reviews they make me so happy. and to all my silent readers I would really love to hear your opinion, and your ideas and you advise.**


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